Grandkids

[mowens]

I was in Ohio visiting family this past weekend and seeing a show with my wife.

I was sitting with my soon to be 7 year old grand daughter as we were putting together a Lego kit. I was having trouble getting one to snap into place as she gave me helpful advise; "push it like you do hairspray". Turns out I had it positioned wrong but before I realized that she had decided I couldn't be trusted with the LEGO assembly. She assigned me the task of finding the right pieces and she would put them together. Later, she asked my wife "how old is Papa?" That's when I realized she thought I was too old and decrepit to snap LEGOS together, lol. 

Another time she asked me to get this hair tie out of her doll's hair. It's really just a large doll head on a stand with hair that she can style. I tried but failed to get the hair tie out and I was afraid I would pull the hair out. I told her about the hair issue and she said "it comes from dead people". I tried to explain that it was man made and not from dead people. I don't think she believed me.

Later on, I walked in the bathroom and there is this same head, staring up at me from the bottom of a sink full of water. It kind of freaked me out because I once found a guy on the bottom of a lake who had apparently fallen asleep on a raft and rolled into the water. I had my snorkeling gear on and ran into his foot and followed it down to his head. His eyes were open sort of like that too. (He lived, somehow). I don't swim in lakes.

Last September my 10 year old grand daughter had a Michael Myers themed birthday party. Not the Shrek Michael Myers, the Halloween Michael Myers, complete with a full size cardboard cut out of him holding a large knife wearing his mask. She also collected hair from people.

So far, none of my grand children have killed anyone, that I know of.

[Newbeeee™]

That's when I realized she thought I was too old and decrepit to snap LEGOS together, lol. 

You coulda trod on it, and showed her your dancing moves
 

[gcode]

That's when I realized she thought I was too old and decrepit to snap LEGOS together, lol. 

Well, she's not wrong. 

[mowens]

You coulda trod on it, and showed her your dancing moves

Not as bad as stepping on a plastic army man and have his rifle pierce your foot.

Well, she's not wrong. 

Yeah, that was my second thought.

[ghuns]

...Last September my 10 year old grand daughter had a Michael Myers themed birthday party. Not the Shrek Michael Myers, the Halloween Michael Myers, complete with a full size cardboard cut out of him holding a large knife wearing his mask. She also collected hair from people.

So far, none of my grand children have killed anyone, that I know of.

Uh... That's a little... Creepy?

For fucksake Grandpa, buy her a pony or something.

[mowens]

For a school project, one of my daughters created a simulated body farm like the FBI uses to study decay rates of human flesh. She didn't use human flesh.

Rest easy though. She is now a school psychologist.

[mowens]

Uh... That's a little... Creepy?

For fucksake Grandpa, buy her a pony or something.

I bought the party decorations for her.

[neurosis]

Why is this the image I'm seeing in my head?