Joke of the day

[mowens]

My friend got fired from the bank. A little old lady came in and asked him to check her balance, so he pushed her. When she fell over he said "Not to good".

[Incogneeto]

This Guy Goes to a whorehouse.

The Madam takes him upstairs and escorts him into a room with a hooker.
who proceeds to tell him the prices.
"For five dollars we can do it on the floor"
she says.
"It's ten dollars to do it on the couch", " A twenty if you want to do it on the Bed"

The Guy hands her a Twenty.

"Good Choice" she says and hops on the bed.

"No,No" the guy says "I want four on the Floor"

[Incogneeto]

^^^that's not a joke - that's one of your anecdotes....

Nah !!I have a very good Memory.

And it was a wood Floor "It sounded like a woodpecker"

[mowens]

I farted on my wallet. Now I have gas money.


Yes, I steal all of my jokes.

[kccadcam]

Somewhere there is a dude living off a chick
who's living off the state
and still think he's the Man of the house.

[neurosis]

that's not a joke - that's one of your anecdotes

I think the "crabs" thing was a deflection.

Not everything stays in Vegas. 

[mkd]

There once was a man from Nantucket

[mkd]

Conservative Republican

That belongs in the oxymoron thread, duh.

[neurosis]

What kind of car does a sheep like to drive?







A Lamborghini.

[Incogneeto]

The police said 'My dog has been chasing people on a bicycle"

I told them. "My dog doesn't own a bicycle".

[beej]

My wife told me that she's about to go "All Beth Dutton" on me.

Now I don't know whether to take a shower..... or go hide in the woods

[kccadcam]

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.
She seemed surprised.

[kccadcam]

Yo momma so dumb, she tried to surf the microwave......

[kccadcam]

Two women are walking home from the bar, they both have to piss so they slip into a nearby cemetery.
One uses her panties to wipe herself, and the other uses a reef off a head stone.
Next night, the husbands meet at the bar, one looks at the other and says,
"I'm gonna have to watch my wife, she came home with no panties last night."
The other one says, "Oh well, mine came home with a card wedged in her ass saying,
'You were loved and will be missed by the whole entire fire department.'"

[pmartin]

If you lined up all the idiots in the world half of them would drown in the ocean.